its a livid thump dying a slow remorseful death in my body. the sadness dissipating out of the pores. silence echoing in aplomb.a there are solemn walks, gazes fueled by solitude, quietude sips on chai with me. a bulbous, pregnant need to push out of the comfort. life pushing through, every breath a loan waived. vying for the scenic, the terraces attract me on sombre evenings. 'i am a slave to vast expanses of nature' -- i read this somewhere. and readily made it my own. in the dim light of a bedside lamp, in the steady hum of the refrigerator filling the house, i caper to my senses. parsing meaning out of the quiver in the leafs on a windless december noon. stories we write ourselves are as important as the stories we tell ourselves. songs from a film seen 4 months ago in the movie hall flicker in my mind. a half-smoked cigarette, ashes of time lost, visions of a the life to be, all come to silting halt as i make another day through. breathing comes easy as the sound of a new perfume spraying out of the bottle effuses the senses. slowness and the respect for it. feet too still to move, too hurt from the uncountable steps taken in the mind's eye. a new movie seen, a new experience lived. chai with ginger sends therapeutic sensations down the bones. another day gone by. a steady gray steals itself out of my 19 hours. happiness is down and away, finding its way through the winding roads. i tiptoe around the known and try to locate what is unknown. tough to qualify why the sadness espies me easily, more simply. its been a long friendship, so long. some adieus have to be bid. pushed, nudged, encouraged to step away, some knots loosen with distance created on purpose. recuperate dear heart, like the stitches on your chin, the unseen stitches can and will manifest itself. the bittersweet hides behind the confines, look up and beyond. the skies are vast, like the experiences to be lived for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znasUHiNhJs