a sad n angry time

Dear friend,

This letter comes in between a working week. Like most of the other things not just in our lives, but also in the world around us, this letter has a haphazard shape to it. No beginning or end, perhaps not an outline either. I have trouble putting arguments, words, sentences to a solid shape. Sometimes that's the biggest reason I am afraid of pitching my work and am taken by surprise when someone responds to it.

I want to share some words not written by me, some music I discovered and some other oddball internet-of-things things that have helped me stay afloat in the last week. It has been a sad, angry time. Remember I have myself a haircut in the end of July? Well, the hair is growing back, but it looks awful. More than anything else, its tiring to keep up it since there's no way I can keep it tied.

After years of yearning, I am in the market for friends. I don't know what happened to my previous friendships. But somehow I feel sapped out of all the juices and nutrition from them. I need an intelligent person to converse with. Someone who can take me places. A woman, preferably. I want to be nurtured by the inexhaustible care that comes with friendship with women. I am willing to give that kind of attention too.

Also, people who pile on on others, asking for help out of turn, they need to think about their selfishness. I don't mind if I have to cut a few extra noise off from my life. But I'd much rather not carry with me friends or acquaintances who are always only asking. Never, ever, giving. I want to be nourished. Maybe its the pandemic, or maybe it's the real grump within, but I'm tired of being the one on the lookout.

Here's to new beginnings friend. Here's to being and staying hopeful. As 17-year-old me would say: "Hopes r alive!" Some words here in the form of tiny letters of writers/authors that gave me some nourishment this week here:
1. Monet P Thomas' while you were sleeping http://tinyletter.com/whileyouweresleeping
2. Alvin Park's aspirin and honey http://tinyletter.com/chipmnk
3. Monet's away again https://tinyletter.com/AwayAgain
4. Eli Goldstone's essay about cleaning other people's homes https://www.newstatesman.com/2020/09/personal-story-cleaning-lives-others

Music by Bipul Chhetri and the soundtrack of A Death In the Gunj fed my soul. As much as I am tired of Twitter and vertical scrolling vertigo, I still can't bring myself to read a book. I'm trying to watch few(er) movies too. Only an episode of Schitt's Creek and Modern Family here and there these days helps me stay afloat.
Hope you find solace in some of this (or not).

Ok,
Anandi